Sunday, October 31, 2004
listening to: jie kou by jay chou
haiz... it was a terrible and not so terrible day yesterday.
it's the second time that i have to ps them for badz lor... think i'm definitely in steve's blacklist le.. =( i felt so guilty about it lor.. but i dont really have a choice too.. i mean, i owe racheal a favour cos she helped me the other time, and sikin too, cos she found a replacement for me the other time for EC.. so i can just kill two birds with one stone if i agree racheal to replace sikin yesterday. furthermore, it's the halloween period and the safari is having a ghost tram item that draw such a huge crowd that it can get out of control sometimes. haizzz... if it's not cos of all these, i wont want to go either... plus, i need to get my face painted AGAIN leyZ!! haizz...
i was a bit late yesterday, so i had to walk all the way to east lodge.. oh my! what a long walk.. almost died halfway there... plus i was walking all alone, a bit scary.. hm.. i brought my digicam along cos i wanna take pictures of the decorations and with those colleagues in costumes. i wanted to take a picture of him too... but i couldnt find him after that leyz.. sianz.. muahaha =X
anyway, i was so unlucky or lucky, i dont know. i saw him the minute i stepped into the cashier's room... argh!! the minute he saw me, he started laughing at me... asking me why i'm working.. argh!! he almost repeat whatever i said to him yesterday to joe until i told him to keep quiet... how irritatin! got teased the first thing i stepped into safari... how sad! =( and when he asked me where i'll be working, i shot him a look and said.. "what do you think?" he just gave me a very sarca good luck... and grin from eye to eye... argh! how irritating!!
whenever i saw him approaching 1A, i'll just turn around.. if not, he'll just take the chance to laugh at me again! =( hmrpf!! so M-E-A-N! argh! hmmz... well, it'll be another week before i get to see him... haizz... argh!! never mind.. better take the "good luck" and just study hard first... =) lala...
it's confusing for me.. for i never know such 'things' exist.. how i hope you dont have to be the one, but it seems destinied for you to be the one to be at the end of everything. it's tougher on me then on you, definitely. but i'll just try to keep up the pretense and we'll just see what happens...
Saturday, October 30, 2004
i am SOOOOO happy! =)
i replaced celest for work today, because she couldnt make it. why? cos she is accompanying wei to go clubbing. -_-" anyway, it's ok except for the fact that today is the first day of the halloween trip in safari, and i had my face drawn all thanks to him.
was working at station 1A today and i had to deal with both the japanese toursists and those going for the ghost tram. there was such a long queue for the ghost tram and there were only 2 of us, pris and me, in charge of the station. how sad!!! syidah and glory were doing show usher. haiz.. sort of got scolded by this indian guy cos he was scolding my colleague not in her presence, but in front of me and stuffs =( felt as though i'm the one being scolded instead -_-"
all four of our faces were being drawn... haha.. but i think mine looks the most real. sort of gave him a shock when he saw me at station 1A. anyway, he kept um-chioing when he saw me lor.. and kept making fun of me. how frustrating!! i didnt even want my face to be drawn in the first place. aRgH!! anyway, he walked quite a few times over to the station, cos there were quite a few cock-ups, so he was there to settle them.
had a debrief, my second debrief actually. hm.. the minute he saw me only, he started teasing me all over again =P heh!
well, now i've got a new motivation to study! =) muahahaha... he was asking me if i'll be working for the next two days, and i told him very sianly that i'm having my exams next week... and he wish me good luck and told me to study hard =) heh!! well.... so yupz!! =)
you brighten up an otherwise horrible day =)
hm.... you are soooooooooooo nice! =)
Friday, October 29, 2004
hm.. went to sok's house today to study accounting. i gather that it's quite a few attempts due to many factors. good (cool) weather, not in the mood and of cos, the fact that the next paper is on monday, which gave us quite a few days to prepare, but i doubt it's going to be enough.
there were quite a few programmes to watch and then i couldnt really bring myself to study even though i tried to. sighz. well, i still managed to finish studying lecture 7 and 8 of my accounts notes including making notes of them =
i think sok is really toooooo impressive.. cant take it at all.. she was copying the statz answers cos she usually didnt bring them for lecture... she was so good at sleeping without giving herself away that she can hold the pencil in her hand, in a position where it seems as though she's reading the notes... plus her hair was covering her face, so from the side, you wont be able to see whether her eyes are open or not. anyway, the only thing that gave her away was that i know that she cant stop shaking her legs when she's lying on her bed, so when there's absolutely no movement at all, you know that she's goner already. hah!
anyway, was at her place until 22:00... hmm... one programme leads to another... so i either go off at 18:30 or at 22:00... i wanna watch double happiness and the champion! hm... wah.. i'm a bit besotted with the show.. even though it's not really a show with a very good plot or something compare with some others.. but i like johnny yan and toro! heh... yey!! i'm waiting for maria to send me the song... haiz...
Thursday, October 28, 2004
do you know...
that it uses up a lot of energy to hate someone..
but it takes up more energy to learn to forgive someone..
that a curve is more powerful than a straight line..
it can make a person happy or sad..
that loving someone is a great thing to feel...
but having the person loves you back is a feeling that words can never describe...
=)
had my organizational behavior paper today. i seriously feel as though i've wasted a lot of my time. the stupid questions didnt ask anything about the things that i've tried to remember and jot down for the past few days, but only asked those whom i managed to squeeze in and finished reading last night =( argh!! i think i so screwed up this paper.. it's like writing lit eassys you know, 2 essays in 2 hours. they stupidly gave us 15 minutes if reading time. yesh.. READING time, you cant do anything else but read the 2 questions again and again. i cant even write down my rough work or plan =( so irritating! the 15 minutes made me become a bit drowsy and sleepy... how dumb! but this is still slightly different from lit exams, cos during lit exams, sok and i usually have too much time to write, cos we simply have not much things to write, blank. but this time round, there were too much things, but too little time =(
heh! thanx celest, glo and eunice for accompanying me for lunch today.. if not, i'll be a lonely girl =D heh!! hey BZ... bear with it for a little longer ya... a month more and that's about it... well, i'll be back soon, than i can accompany you to and fro lor =) hehe! in the meantime, you must pray hard for me leyz.. i'll be taking the most jia lat paper, accounts soon =(
lala... met up with kiam, jun, bec, lilian, yien and fen =) haha... for what occassion? hm... cos lilian's having her holidays lor... -_-" hahah... but glad to see them again.. hehe! hmm... actually wanted to give her passport to 'shang lu' le... but on the account that she seems to be repentent, i'll let her off =P haha... yien and jun is still under pending lor... hmm... =P
hm... i've been slacking ever since i reached home. feel so guilty but i'm too tired to study accounts, shall start tomorrow... yey! going to sok's house tomorrow... hahaha... lalala.. havent been going to her place as often as before school started.. haha.. although her ah bee is a 'jian gou' lahz.. but quite missed him sometimes. haha! lala.. ok.. i'll wake up early and reached by 11. i managed to do it the last time lor.. dont look down on me horz... i've been quite punctual lately lor.. haha.. was early today when meeting bec they all also lor =) hehe!! i'm trying hor... hm.. ya.. using izzy's way to try... muahaha! =X
i wanna work... i wanna work... anyone got any lobangs for me??!
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
listening to: i drive myself crazy by n' sync
argh!! i'm going crazy very soon!!! i'm so dead! i'm so dead!! ob paper in a few more hours.. think i'm so going to flunk it.. haiz.. that weilin lah.. stress me early in the morning, sms me when i'm not even awake to ask me how i'm doing.. if i've finished studying.. argh!! cant even have a peaceful sleep... was so stress that i couldnt even go back to sleep.. so wake up and try to absorb some more things =( think my brain is just going to explode le!! =(
i had a dream about him the other day..
how sweet =)
but i had a dream about the xiaoguas...
how terrible.
woke up in fright..
but yet...
i think it's a bit ridiculous..
oh well, just glad that it'a a dream.
sighz.
the heart is the happiest when it beats for others..
and yesh..
my heart is happiest when it beats for you.
but what if one day you walk away?
what if one day you walk out of my world?
will i die?
is my heart going to stop beating and leave me to die?
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
dead. i'll be having my first paper, Organizational Behavior, in about 14 hours, and i've not finished reading through everything. i think i'm going to flunk this paper =( haiz.. i dont really know what i should study for it. should i be memorising examples or something? but there seems to be too much to remember =( i'm just hoping hard that i'll be able to remember whatever i've read tomorrow. hopefully, those that i've paid more attention to will be of some use =
i went for tuition today. miraculously, my p4 kid actually know how to do his maths without me shouting at him. is it because it's maths paper tomorrow? whatever it is, i dont care as long as he knows his work. my p2 kid is driving me crazy. 20 maths questions and he only got 6 right. i almost puked blood trying to explain to him... especially problem sums of multiplication and division. haiz.. should i be hoping that the parents will sack me? it's actually quite tough money teaching the two of them. it's really stressful, and every lesson, one of them will get it from me, cos they cant stop irritating each other during tuition. maybe i've been too slack with them at the very beginning, that's why they arent afraid of me. haiz.. i should be continuing with my p1 kid, though she can be a bit irritating at times, but she's really smart, and there are ways to deal with her.. muahahah =P
i'm thinking of looking for another tuition, maybe secondary maths or something? just not some 'o' level kids.. cos i think it's very energy consuming.. sighz. DAMN IZZY for talking about those dreams of hers... kns... make me so tempted now.. i also want to earn money.. maybe we should really go set up some store in some bazaar sales to sell the handphone accessories that becca and company did during our CSS carnival. heh! it's actually very profitable, but it requires a lot of hard work, all the drawings and colourings.. maybe we can thinking of some idea to make it less troublesome... well, i'll think of something. heh!
how how how? i'm having exams tomorrow, but my whole mind is thinking of working during the holidays.. i want to earn money... hopefully, i'll be able to earn at least 1.2k for the 2 months, and save at least half of it, then maybe after another 6 months, i'll really be able to go taiwan =) heh! hmm... i'm definitely chionging for night safari.. hopefully i'll be able to get 700 to 800 for the 2 months, and then worse come to worse, i'll go to the zoo and work... then the combined salary would be quite a lot.. hm.. if not, i can continue with my tuition, or take one more, and then hopefully casey darling will have some events' job for me. haiz... i feel like asking jenni about the office job that she was talking about the other day.. haiz... dont know lahz... but i definitely need to work!!! no doubt of that!
i want to earn money!! haha...
Monday, October 25, 2004
listening to: Bu Gong Ping
i feel so guilty now. i was supposed to go to the library today to study, but i ended up shopping with my mum today =X i wanted to wake up early, but due to the rain and such good weather to sleep, i just couldnt bring myself to wake up. i woke up at around 13:30 instead =( hmmz..
it's quite a rare chance for my mum to ask me to go shopping with her.. cos everytime we go shopping together, i'll end up being the one buying the most things =D haha.. then she'll complain that i spend a lot of money.. but it's not everytime that i get to buy things and not paying for them myself =P well, we went to IMM at about 15:00 and i started planning what i should get while i'm there =X heh!
i wanted to get court shoes, and since world of sports was having a sale.. 50% off, decided to check it out, but they dont have size 7, the smallest that they have is size 8, and it's too big for me =( so gave up and went over to fila to check out their stuffs. saw this pair of shoes that's white with blue linings, and i like it very much.. haha.. since it's not really very expensive, i decided to buy it. i think it can be used as court shoes too, cos the soles are similar to the last pair of court shoes i had =) i double checked with the guy at the counter and he confirmed that it can be used as court shoes =) yey! finally have a new pair of court shoes =) i bought a shoe bag from fila too. i got the greyish/silverish one instead of the blue one, cos the blue one is a bit too bright.. and that makes it ugly =X i bought a waist pouch too, quite small, but since it's only 10 bucks when you spent over 60 bucks on the store, my mum bought it lor. bought a fila shirt too, my mum bought it, i never say anything =X i also bought this fleece jacket at baleno, very comfortable =) and then when to buy some toiletries.. haha.. so that i dont need to pay it with my money =P
hmmz... my mum bought lots of food home lor.. yum yum!! bought my favourtie chwee kuehs!! haha.. yummy yum! =D and i also bought this chocolate banana cheese cake from secret recipe. my favourite cheezechoc was already sold out =( haiz... next time then -sianz-
argh!! i havent started studying for the day... i'm going to after i finish this entry... hopefully i'll be able to finish my accounting today.. so that i'll be able to continue with OB tomorrow =) i love studying...!! i LOVE it so much!!!
走了那麼遠 發現你不在身邊
獨自走過了什麼 自己都不了解
未來的藍圖應該有你 不該只剩嘆息 只是偶爾淚流不停
堅強的理由 只是自己騙自己
你眼中的恐懼 說什麼都多餘
付出的一切值不值得 永遠不會有答案
只有天知道我有多麼愛你
一顆心屬於一個人 在愛情裡什麼算公平
愛的深也傷的深 是不是罪滅了自己
一顆心屬於我自己 愛情裡找不到公平
而當你最後選擇了逃避 我學會不公平
Saturday, October 23, 2004
heh! i'm soooooo happy!
went to changi village with melia, hani, izzy and yirang yesterday. yupz... melia drove =) haha.. for one who just got her license for only 5 weeks, she's really quite good =) haha.. even though i started the journey being very wary, but then it's not for no reasons also lahz.. it was raining damn heavily lor... and i couldnt even make out what was in front.. so was quite scared for melia. =X
hmmz... had to fetch yirang for UE sqaure before setting off to changi V.. heh! she didnt really gave clear instructions, told us liang court.. and none of us know how to get to liang court lor... took us an hour to finally find the correct place.. -.- anyway, it was quite an adventure. we were very noisy in the car, cos all of us were trying to find the location... and giving different instructions and directions.. haha.. hani kept confusing left with right.. and it nearly got melia crazy.
hmmz.. i think all of us were a bit sia suay lahz... cos we were talking and talking that melia didnt really notice the red light until we were so close to it and she suddenly brake. haha.. got us a scare.. but immediately after the red light, it had this green arrow signal to indicate cars to turn left. as we were quite slow to recover from the shock, it got the cars behind horning at us lor.. dont even know if we should feel embarrass or laugh at our own reactions.
hmmz.. went to changi v and see trans.. haha... it was a bit bai chi lahz... anyway, there was one who wasnt wearing any bra at all.. she simply wore a denim jacket and never button it at all.. so when she walked, the jacket was flapping flapping... diaoz... haha.. i think we went round the area like 5 times? haha.. and because we were so sianz.. we simple parked in one of the carpark for like half an hour to see if any of them got picked up and see how many vehicles went by more then once. =P hmmz.. even went to desker road after that.. haha.. how diaoz rite.. wanted to go to geylang and eat their dou hua... but was a bit afraid that we'll lose our way lahz.. heh!
got home at around 2:30... muahahah.... we were like shouting all the way in the car with the window screens down.. heh!
Friday, October 22, 2004
it's 4:20 in the morning and i'm still awake. definitely not wide awake though... haiz...
i finally went to collect my router today =) haha.. yesh, finally! just when i was about to leave funan, i walked past harvey norman, so decided to go in and check out the digicams.. the casio exlim that i wanted is now just 699 bucks... well, a 100 bucks lower then i first saw it... so not that bad. decided to ask the salesperson which digicam is actually better.. and he introduced me this kyocera cam. hmm... spent about half an hour to 45 minutes at the counter checking out the camera, plus it is still on promotion price of 599 bucks... i think and think about it and decided to just buy it. muahaha... finally got a digicam thai want. although the LCD screen is not as big as what i would preferred, but the functions is as good, if not, better then the casio one... so i think it's quite a good deal. ok.. please dont tell me otherwise... cos whenever i spent such huge amount of money, i'll be thinking twice, thrice, whatever... haiz.. so i think it'll be really painful if i regret buying it after that.. haiz =(
hmmz... went to work today.. was doing ushering today with velder.. =) hahaha... quite happy today cos got praised quite a number of times, yey! as i said, i'm a easily satisfied woman =) muahahaha! saw him walking here and there every now and then... oh well, he always does that. hmmz.. didnt talk to him today, but couldnt help staring at him during briefing.. muahaha! hmmz... wonder if the freneyz are interesting in going for the halloween night... or should i ask qq and yq to go together? hmmz... well, i shall consider both. afterall, i can bring them for different nights, and my admission is free anyway =P muahahaha!
haiz... have to wake up early to go give tuition to shane tomorrow... hmmz.. well, consider that he's my cousin, it's not exactly giving tuition lahz.. afterall, i'm not paid. hmmz.. but it's ok, since i've always dote on him since young.. haha.. just pray hard and hope that i can still remember everything about A maths.. heh!
hmmz... dozing off...
Thursday, October 21, 2004
listening to: where i belong by tanya chua
i felt so tired for the whole day. firstly, i woke up late for class, so have to take a cab in the end. i refused to miss the last accounting lecture, since i know that my accounts is really in quite a big mess. went lunch with the usual people plus john, max, stan and gary... haha... really had a good laugh all thanks to john with kelvin's dick head... =X haha...
we tried to revise a bit of accounts after that, well, at least, they tried. i was too tired that i went into the classroom and sleep for about an hour. i made an effort to attempt the questions, but careless mistakes here and there made me so demoralised... sianz... dont really have much patience for it i feel...
i couldnt find a replacement today, so in the end, i got no choice but to go to work.. haiz.. so sad.. cant send ji hae off =( well, hope she'll come back again someday... then can go out and have fun again =) haiz.... was a bit crazy today with racheal and weijun... all racheal's fault.. but i was so tired that it felt as though today was the longest day in my whole life... haiz...
i saw him today.. but i didnt bother to talk to him or say anything to him... i was just too sian and tired... haiz... but seeing him is good enough lahz =) hahah... cant wait for juice to go back to work.. haha.. than i can have someone to gossip with me le.. not that celest and glory isnt good enough =X haha.. they are just as 'bitchy' lor.. =X heh!
anyway, i need to get back to studying for my accounts, and pray hard that i'll be able to wake up early tomorrow to go and book badminton courts, go city hall and collect my reutor, then try and do some revision for my accounts. haiz.. i will be doing ushering again tomorrow... well, it can be quite fun =) heh! especially when he's around =)
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
i transferred everything to the new phone..
new phone given to me by my mum...
all the contacts... one by one..
took such a bloody long time..
when it was finally done..
i looked at the phone for the last time...
and switched it off..
taking out the sim card and putting it into the other phone...
my darling phone..
the first phone i bought using my own money...
haiz...
what is in the phone, shall stay in the phone...
chapter closed.
well, it has been closed for a long time..
but by changing it,
it just makes it a bit more symbolic?
*shrugs*
hmmmz... i need to study....
and stop thinking of him...
hope i'll get to see him on thursday =X
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
"我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你"
- ye zi ah sang
went to je lib today.. was supposed to meet izzy there, but cos something crops up, so she went to school instead. so i was in the lib studying all by myself. managed to read through the chapter of communication, but i'm not done with the notes yet, so have to spend some time on it later. haiz...
i feel so lazy nowadays... think i'm really not studying hard enough... i'm beginning to slack a little bit... oh dear.. this is not good. hmmz.. i want to watch movie!!! haiz..... i think i'm so deprived.. just asked sok if she wants to go for kbox on fri and then sakae buffet after that =X heh!
sianz... sianz... sianz....
Monday, October 18, 2004
i really enjoyed myself out with ji hae and izzy today =) we were really funny and a bit idiotic =X
all of us were late to begin with, not to mention that she got the meeting place wrong. hmmz... we started with far east first cos ji hae wanted to do some shopping. all of us were caught in the rain.. sianz.. hmmz.. she brought us to some shops that sell a lot of very kawaii watches and wallets. oh dear..... i really love them!! haiz... think they are going to be one my most frequent shops in the future... =( hmmz.. was trying to look for a suitable watch for myself... i wanted to big face one, but they look too big for my wrist.. but i dont really like the small ones, cos the watch face is too small. finally found one to my liking just when we were about to leave far east. it's a big face watch, but it doesnt look really big on my wrist cos the belt is close to my skin colour... so yupz..! haha... =)
went to taka after this cos we wanted to eat ice-cream =) muahahah! i bought tartufu and mango alfronso, izzy bought tartufu and some other chocolate ice-cream while ji hae bought cappuchino and cookies 'n' creme =) yey! we were like 3 happy women walking to heerens... haha.. =) yum yum!!!
we went to heerens cos ji hae wanted to get her "micky" shoes. it's actually this pair of shoes that has mickey mouse prints all over, and she's getting it not only because it's nice, but also because she's totally crazy over her "husband" who is called micky, in this very popular korean group called dong fang shin gei. that shoes cost $79!! diaoz... we dont think it's worth it, so in the end, she dropped the idea of buying. went to take neoprints.. ahaha... it was really funny and stupid... we were like trying to think of the different angles and pose.. we even got a backache cos we had to bend down for 6 shots for the camera that is at a weird angle. it was really tiring.. but fun too =) i think we were really noisy... anyway, i saw yiching and ting there too =) muahaahaha!
izzy and i wanted to treat her but we couldnt decide where to go, so in the end she decided on sakae instead =) yum yum... had this contented feeling after that, cos i've not eaten sushi for a really long time.. haiz.. should ask linda, min, sok and pris out for sushi buffet soon! yey! =)
we went to HMV to browse through some of the cds... and i showed her how lee hom and namie amuro looked like. haha.. she doesnt like the taiwan boybands cos she thinks that they cant dance.. and she absolutely doesnt undertstand how come 5566 is so popular. well, they dont have looks, neither can they sing nor dance. when i told her that they actually sang one of shinhwa's songs, perfect man, she was like... "wah lao eh... come.. i show you how shinhwa dance..." and she invited us over to her place. she showed us some of dong fang shin gei's and boa's clips.. haah.. she is really head over heels for micky... haha... so funny.. =X
hmmz... didnt really stay very long at her place... cos we were too tired.. i need to get some sleep before going back to my notes =( hmm... wed... wed... hope i'll be able to get a replacement.. then i might just be able to send her off... haiz...
Sunday, October 17, 2004
yesterday....
well, i didnt go back for the openhouse =( was a bit upset about it. i cant go back, cos i have prior commitments and that is to give tuition, so i have to give it a miss. it doesnt help when you have people asking if you are going back, it just makes it even more upsetting that you are missing such an event =( furthermore, i heard that quite a few of them went back. sighz. how i wish i could make it, but the kids are having exams soon, so i cant simply abandon them. responsibile.
i went to meet izzy and min after my tuition at lot 1. got feedback about the openhouse and all the things going on. seems like i've not really miss any good things, but also missed out a few stuffs. i think i would have wanted to give her a piece of my mind.. not that i really would, cos i will definitely give him some face. sighz. i cant understand how it happened, but still. i'm glad that he's happy, cos i think some of us definitely dont see any good in her. oh dear.. BIMBO!
for once, i bought food to safari. i cant really take the food there anymore... sick of it. surprisingly, i was one of the early ones to reach there today =) heh! hmmz... was even happier when i saw him. i didnt really expect to see him at all, but it's just so coincidental that i bumped into him when he was on his way out of the toilet -.- heh! he stopped to talk to me, so i just replied in kind and told him that i want to cancel the tix for today, and he kept asking me why do i want to cancel it.. i should just bring my friends there.. haha.. when i told him that it's a korean friend, he kept his persistence in asking me to bring them there.. how diaoz -.- ahahah... argh! i think the next time he flashes his cheeky grin, i will just kill him. i cant stand it anymore. it's like my weak point when it comes to him.
i saw this super duper cute guy in safari today. he is really tall and realy cute. even glo and wei jun agree with me =) heh!! anyway, i think i love working together with wei jun at ME, cos we sort of know what each other is doing, so ya.. we will just cooperate with each other. think there's mo qi lor =) muahaha! i was going on and on about it for half an hour i think.. until wei jun was totally sick of hearing it =P haha... i was bored by then, cos the crowd had started to die a bit, so there's really nothing much to keep me busy at all...
i rushed all the way to jec to meet matt, steve, kenn, izzy and gav for kbox -.- i was really hesitant about it, cos i know that it's going to be really expensive... but since izzy has itching to go for it, so i just go lor... dont really mind except for the money part. well, philip joined us a bit later. actually, i didnt really regret going, cos i think i improved a teeny weeny bit. i surprised myself when i could actually hit some of those notes that i usually cmi.. -.- muahaha!! so happy! aiya... maybe it's because of the times i sing together with rang whenever she comes over to my house, not to mention the umpteen times that i sang in safari when i was doing ushering and there was no crowd cos it's show time. lala... i think it's fun, but i would prefer to go in the morning instead... haha.. the price is like one fifth of what we paid yesterday. =(
well, we couldnt decide where to go, plus i think it's a bit pointless to go to gav's house at such an ungodly house only to get up at around 8 cos he has to go for his bowling training. i wanted to go home initially, but that will leave the rest with dont know what to do, so in the end, to cater to everyone, we just slack outside this coffee shop at je and talked rubbish. i think steve really knows how to keep us awake.. i laughed at his stories till there were tears in my eyes. i cant help it lahz.. i was laughing so hard that my abs hurt... haiz... all the "check clear" stuffs and his sispec thingy... how he got bullied by his sergent... it was really funny. cant take it =P
at around 5:30, we decided to go home so that each of us can at least get some sleep before going to wherever we planned. there wasnt any 143 at that hour, so wanted to walk home with izzy. but halfway through, our legs were really wobbly and we couldnt really walk anymore. ended up taking a cab home and just fall flat the minute i reached home...
if it's not for ji hae's call this morning... i think we would have sleep until afternoon...
Friday, October 15, 2004
it's 15 oct again... a year since we graduated from PJC. sometimes, i really dislike myself for being so good with dates. =( remembering all the significant dates sometimes bring back memories that evokes conflicting emotions.
last year's today, i didnt know whether to be happy or sad. happy that i'm finally graduating from college, cos i felt that i've really had enough of 2 years of college, a rollercoaster ride to me with lots of emotional struggles. sad that i have to face another NEW chapter of my life, which i have no idea what it is going to be like. the fear that it will be another rollercoaster, the fear that it's going to be as tough as jc.
i've learnt much more than i expected to from 2 years of college life. i have no idea, and never thought that i'll ever know that life can be so unpredicatble, so fragile and people can be so cruel. the great difference between pj and css made me realise that i was so sheltered from the realities of the world. i didnt even know what was straight and crooked. well, and i used to be one of those who really condemn the crookeds... but now, it has become like part and parcel of life.
there were so many theories and phrases that all of us came up with in that 2 years. the term "freneyz" all because of hanini... amelia's "karma chameleon"... ming's "meanie" and "my eyes pain pain"... addy and her "weird taste"... izzy and her "tortoise" everywhere... juice and her "ai zai ai ni"... sok and her "curtains"... and all those stupid things that we do like taking pictures in the guys' toilet... playing with the blue bra that we got izzy for birthday.. haha... the little adventure that we had behind the school in melia's birthday.. the crazy times that we'll just pull each others' bras.. =X the dozens of times that hanini slide her hand across our shoulders trying to be seductive.. the countless times that we fell asleep in gp, or we simply just ignore him and ate in his class. haha.. the umpteen times when all of us, and i mean ALL the freneyz will just gather forces and DIAO janice till our eyes almost popped out! haha.. the million times that we cursed xunhui.. and all the egg omelettes =)
these were the fond memories deeply engraved in most of our minds i believed. i always said that all of us were brought together due to circumstances.. all of us still have our secondary school friends, close friends in fact, but although we have different characters, we still managed to stay as a group and had our fair share of fun =) i used to have little faith that the freneyz can stay together even after we graduate, but i guess i'm wrong. although most of us are in different places, and even those in nus are taking different modules, the fact that we made an effort to meet up on occassions shows how much we value our friendships.
it's a long way to go, freneyz... =) wait till ming is back and we'll have our chalet... hopefully =)
listening to: my happy ending by avril lavigne
i wasnt really listening to this song through my player. it's because i'm at maria's blog site now, so i just left it to play. anyway, i started liking this song ever since that day i heard it at gav's house when the mtv was on. it's a nice song with rather good lyrics. well, at least, that was what izzy said =X
i'm sad that she'll be going back. haiz.. although i dont really know her at all, but the few contacts i had with her, she's a really fun person. haiz.. well, hope that she'll be able to stay out a bit later on sunday, then maybe can bring her to night safari =)
i didnt see him today, not a bad thing. i was feeling a bit out of sorts today. something reminded me of him, and it started to get to me. well, forget it...
i think i'm a bit crazy.. but i feel like clocking 400 bucks for this month leyz.. so i volunteered to do 2 more days for this month during the 2 weeks which i am on leave. hmmz.. think it's not that bad lahz.. it's not as though i'll be studying at the time from 6 to 9, since it's not my usual study time. hmmz.. if i managed to clock 400 this month, i'll be able to get my digi cam next month =) yey! cos i already had 300 in my bank from last month, then 240 bucks will be coming in from my tuition after another week, which means i'll have about 940 bucks. it's enough to buy my exlim =) yey! after one 'achievement' down, i'll be going for my next =) heh! next, i want to go rebond my hair.. maybe lahz... dont know leyz.. a bit troublesome.. but i'm thinking of getting my hair dyed ashbrown or reddish brown.. or streaks or something. well, we'll just see what to do with it by the time i have the money =)
hmmmz... i'm mugging hard for my upcoming papers... if i dont make it, i think i can really go bang wall le.. but still, i have doubts for my computing lahz.. i'm a computer idiot lorz! why not just test me on simple html, then maybe i'll have a chance to just PASS. =( haiz... it's 5:40 in the morning now, think i'd better go to bed, then i'll be able to wake up to go to the library later. yey! staying at home = slack + rot. understand this equation?
"You were everything,
everything that I wanted..."
"he represents our most primal hopes and fear... Philosophically, the world's need to dream, imagine and believe, as he urges us to do, is greater than ever."
"Proud and insolent youth! He is this kid who's free and gets to do anything he wants. He gets to fly, he gets to sword fight, he gets to kill pirates - it's what every kid wants and he has it."
his confidence, his boisterous, his ability, his freedom seems like things that all of us want, but can never achieve. the way his face lights up at the little things, and his carefreeness, makes me envious of him.
he is not just a kid, he's a kid that stays in neverland, and will never grow up.
"i do believe in fairies. i do! i do!"
Thursday, October 14, 2004
listening to: ceng jing ai guo by jeff chang
heard this song from gav's blog. it seems like an old song to me, and it's quite nice. it's a typical jeff chang's song =) the lyrics are quite meaningful too. hmmz.. yien.. go listen to it leyz! have this feeling that it suits you =X
anyway, i'm in the middle of reading my ob. i'm sick of looking through the textbook, so i just follow the notes, and for those things that i cant get it from the textbook, i decided to just look for them online. hopefully, they'll also provide some real life examples, then i can just kill 2 birds with one stone =) but i'm only at "emotional intelligence" only.. long way to go =( i dont even know what examples to use. suddenly, i feel as though i'm stuying for literature, cos i still need to find examples for my theories and explanation. oh no..~
well, i was actually thinking of going kbox tomorrow, since sok and i sort of mentioned it the other day. but since limin is meeting us in the middle of nowhere, so we cancelled it =( well, changed our plan to go to library instead. it means that i'll have to mug there tomorrow =) haha.. i'm actully quite happy at the thought of mugging.. oh no.. what is happening to me? i feel like a monster! cant wait for sunday to come, cos i've so many things that i want to ask ji hae =) haha.. =P
~`~`~`~`~
she lights up whenever she sees him. he was the light in her life, showing her the way and being her little guradian angel. he was her hope. when she thought that she'll be living in darkness for what seems like eternity, he walked in and showed her the way. she could still remember the smile on his face, remember all that was too familiar.
they were so near, and yet it seems as though they were miles apart. hearts not touching, and words seem too little. there was nothing to say, there was nothing to feel. just when unlike poles attract, alike poles repel.
now that she sees him for the last time, she could only give him a smile, and walked away, saying goodbye in that silence that he has never seem to notice.
~`~`~`~`~
argh! crap! just when juice is having the urge to be a chinese write, i'm having the urge to be an english one.. but too bad, my english sucks!
listening to: cry by mandy moore.
i'm pretty stuck with this song after watching this tv show about her late yesterday night. hmmz.. it's a really nice song, not to forget that it brings back some.. er.. tinglish memory =X haha.. watched the movie a walk to remember when i was in j1 and the lit teachers showed it after our promos =) it was a really touching show... and i can still remember that he wasnt sitting very far from me >.< well, it was the first time i saw him teared k... very emotional right? =P
hmmz.. i stayed at home for the whole day... wanted to go library, but it was too late when i woke up. well, super unproductive, i really cant study at home at all, except for late nights. i need to read up on my ob.. and yet the thought of it makes me so tired and sleepy once again =( i wonder when can i ever get to my readings at this rate that i'm going =(
juice is GREAT!! haha.. she feels that i've made a good choice! yey!! she thinks that he's quite good-looking and very nice too =) muahaha... yey.. not to forget that he is really charming =) muahaha.. well, although some facts about him daunts me a bit, but still, there's no harm in just having a crush on him. oh well, it JUST a CRUSH, not a big deal. hahaha.. =P lala.. i cant wait to go to work later, cos it's the first day for celest and glory =) muahaha.. i cant wait to work with them lor.. haha.. yey! another motivation for me to go to work.. hmmz.. wonder if he'll be working tomorrow.. =X heh!
hmmz.. was thinking about the conversation with sok yesterday.. haha.. diaoz.. suddenly, i just cant wait to grow up.. haha.. and all for the wrong reasons..!! oh dear!! haiz..
i wanna grow up.... grow up...
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
"我想我在你身命中，只是一个不重要的一个人- 我在你的世界只是一个陪衬品- 我的纯在是多余的。你没想过要爱我，也对我的纯在当成不必然的。我-只是一个和你毫无关系的一个陌生人。我对你的感情- 你永源不会去特意的理会，应为我不值得你去想我，我不值得你花时间来接受我。我- 只是一个陪衬品。"
-from juice =)
hmm... haiz... i think it's really not wise for me to stay at home... whenever i stay at home in the day, i'll end up doing nothing... shucks! i'm supposed to be studying, but suddenly i'm at a loss of what to study too.. think i need to get the notes back from sok already... haha.. cos i'm a bit stuck in my accounting without my notes... haiz..
i'm so sianz... and so bored... but i dont feel like studying leyz... shall go revamp my blog... and hopefully it'll be done by tonight =)
it's like 3 in the morning and i've just bathed -.- was talking to sok on the phone for almost 3 hours =) heh... was already on the phone when i was on my way back from cck station. well, i wanted to tell her about that day when i met mr chue at night safari. oh... did i mention that i met him when i was doing the carpark duty.. and he saw me at my most lok kok attire =( haiz... i was so surprised to see him that the first thing that came out of me was that.. "HOW COME IT'S YOU??!!!" haha.. and i asked him why is he here... oh dear.. i think i would have got scolded if naren or anwar was there -.- hmmm.... anyway, he was a bit shocked too.. muahaha
hm... ok.. i did bus stop duty today. maybe because the working hours have been shorten till 9, so it's a bit easier to pass my time there. anyway, the bonus of it was that celest and glory were having their training today.. and that means i get to meet them and then maybe can go around with them =) haha... was so happy when i saw them... well, they were being trained by uncle jusri.. so lucky =) didnt know that uncle jusri is undergoing training for night supervisor now =) hehe... he's a nice guy lahz... very funny.. hope that being a night supervisor wont change much of things =) hm.. saw him when i was at the bus stop.. a bonus bonus... muahaaha
anyway, think the attraction is not that strong anymore.. as long as he doesnt flash me that cheeky smile of his, i'm quite safe. yey! celest was asking me why do i feel such attraction for him... well, it's all cos of that cheeky smile lahz.. plus the fact that he seems so confident and charming to me. bleahz!!
haha... was talking to sok on the phone just now about the most diao things that can ever be talked about... i caused her to be a 'merlion' that is puking blood instead of water =P heh! well... i hope i can get what i want ah... ahaha.. actually, to think about it now, i think i'm really super diaoz... but i'm a bit afraid that i cant get what i want. anyway... sok.... please dont give me a golden scissors horz!!! =( i dont want him to do something foolish and ruin MY happiness!! muahaha! =X think sok is going to faint very soon.. actually she already fainted quite a few times just now.. muahaha..
ok... think i better go and go my accounts.. lala... ciaoz.. =)
hOw wOuLd yOu feeL iF yOu kNoW tHaT
i dO LoVe yOu?
hOw i wIsh i cAn LoVe yOu wIth No hEsiTatiOnS.
bUt wE'rE MiLes aPaRt.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
listening to: ai de qi ji by lee hom
guess this disc is going to stay in my discman for at least a few weeks i think. the japs songs are really great =) hm.. was out with izzy the other day cos we had tuition at ji hae's place. went lot 1 and shopped after that, window shopping mind you. both of us are broke and trying damn hard to save money, for the same purpose but different reasons. =)
well, walked into cd-rama and we just had to look at those albums on display. i was looking for lee hom's jap album for some time, but i think it's been so long that it sort of just slipped my mind until she mentioned about the jap version of wei yi. hm.. this kept me looking for the album... sianz.. so i spent lik 18.95 bucks on the album. but now i that i listen to it, i think it's worth my money, so shall not grumble too much.
i think i'm abandoning my s.h.e. plan. i dont feel like spending the money.. i really want to save up... and i'm getting that digicam that i want so much!! =( hm..
yey! i think celest got the job... haha.. glo too! so i guess next time, i'll have two more companions with me =) heh! than can bitch around.. =) well, hope to see you at work soon... =)
it's like so early in the morning.. 3:24 now.. and i'm still trying to do my accounts. i think i'm pretty dead with it. have problems remembering the different things that has to be included in different financial statements and also the formulas to find certain adjustments. haiz.. hope this wont be the module that i have to da pao... cos i think computing is definitely da paoing =(
for the first time in a loooooong time, definitely not during 'a's, i feel like mugging. and it's not because that i really need to mug, but i want to mug too. haiz.. but i have problems sparing concrete time.. felt a bit irritated whenever i have to go for work or tuition when i'm halfway through my studying. haiz... dont know lahz.. think i'm more or less settled for statz.. have to read up on ob = dread... dont know what stupid shit i need to study for computing.. but think i'll just go through the past year papers that he gave us... then need to do a lot of practising for accounts.
cross my fingers and pray hard that i can make it. if not, i'll be crossing my fingers and hope to die.
Monday, October 11, 2004
haiz... early in the morning and i'm in the school's com lab. how exciting!! haiz.. too desperate, i need to get my assignment printed, plus there's a bloody queue. haiz.. and all the MCPs of the class are here. so irritating. plus they are hogging the bloody printer... what the *tootz*
slept at like 6 in the morning, adjusting the rest of the report and do some last minute tidings.. haiz... felt like a zombie now =( hm.. luckily, i got racheal ah... woke me up early in the morning.. cos she needed me to replace irwan on the 14th. haiz.. that crow queen, asked her to wake me up.. she happily forgot. should have just left her CD at home. hmrpf!!
hm.. met rachel the other day.. the one that is still in css... well, she has to retake her maths for prelims cos she failed it. if she passed it, she'll be going to pj =) yey! haha.. can imagine that she's gonna attract quite a crowd once more. so happy to meet her.. haha... as usual, she's still as gossipy and bitchy as before.. wanted to go home before that, and all thanx to her, i reached home at midnight cos we ended up talking in jec -.- my food had turned cold because of that =( well, heard that lynette is also going to pj, hmmz... hope she's not another alistair or else i can faint. haha... oh... she told me another big gossip that had me realised that i'm super lagging lor.. how sianz.. and i'm going to murder jiajun the next time i see him. hmrpf!!! so irritating!! haha.. =P anyway, it came as quite a surprise to me... dont know leyz, somehow, i just didnt expect it lahz.. i mean, it just doesnt have any connection -.-
argh!! the MCPs! can they just get it over and done with?
i'm dead. i'm so dead. it's like 1:56 now.. and i'm still doing my bc assignment which is due later... oh dear!! luckily got pau... if not, think i can just die lor... i didnt even know that there's so many things to do.. i thought that i'm just short of 1 report, which is like good enough to kill me already... only to realise that there are so many things not done. haiz.. and it also means that i have to reprint my screen dumps.. i'm so dead! i only hope that i have enough papers to spare, if not, haiz... no one will be able to help me tomorrow... haiz.. =(
Saturday, October 09, 2004
*yawnz* so tired now... and it's only 15:18 in the afternoon only.. well, i slept at 5 in the morning.. so what do i expect right? =( just came back from tuition.. felt like murdering that 2 boys of mine. they are simply incorrigible!!
went for my cousin's wedding yesterday, met some of my cousins and aunties and uncles whom i've not seen for so long. sometimes, not even new year. since i was always with my cousins from my dad's side, so i didnt really hang out with cousins from my mum's side. i used to spent more time with them when i was young, cos my uncle was still around.. everyone had changed so much.. even george agreed with me. it was the first time i saw my newphew. he's so adorable.. and his name is Yuan Kai. haha... what a name right? (think only some will understand me) lala.. my 3rd cousin is so pretty now.. gone is the tom-boy and she's so feminine now that most of us cant believe it. haha! anyway, she's got a really good-looking french boyfriend *envious* haha.. i think my eldest cousin has changed too.. after giving birth to a boy, she seems more settled and a lot nicer then before. she's a bit auntie too which i always find it hard to even imagine. my 2nd cousin is still as nice to me as before.. actually, i quite like the 4 of them.. they've always dote on me especially my 2nd and 3rd cousin.. they always ask about me and tell me things and teach me new stuffs. =) but somehow, we are no longer as close.. i'm closer to the cousins from my dad's side now.
hmmmz.. now that my 3rd cousin is back from UK, like finally, think we can go out together again!! heh!
today is suposed to be my off day.. but since racheal cant work, i'll have to help her out, not that i mind lahz.. since they didnt manage to book the court, and there seems to be no alternate plans.. haiz.. so better off working than just rot at home.. though i planned to use it to study one.. but since now, have to work le.. shall just study when i reached home lor.. haiz..
Friday, October 08, 2004
listening to: chuang wai by jacky wu & landy wen.
i just woke up not long ago. simply fell asleep after returning from work, couldnt make myself come online earlier. haiz..
i woke up real early today, all thanx to pris for sms-ing me, if not, i'll be late going to sok's house again. woke up at 8.15 and managed to reach sok's house at about 9.15. it's the earliest that i can make it already. i wasnt that late k... we were supposed to meet at 9. i think it's getting easier for me to wake up early. for the past 2 days, i woke up quite easily when i have to meet people early in the morning. well, dont know what has gotten into me either.
pris taught sok and me some of the accounting concepts and i cleared some doubts for me. i was pretty loss at the beginning, or maybe i just needed to do some refreshing. believe it or not, i'm actually starting to enjoy studying. oh dear, what has happened to me? i didnt really study the whole time that i was in sok's house cos i was simply too tired. for 2 days in a row, i only slept for 5 hours in total. i'm too lack of sleep =( hm.. slept like 2 to 3 hours in sok's house.. and the continue doing my work later. i think all 3 of us took turns to doze off. suddenly, i'm quite motivated to study my accounting =) it is not as difficult as it seems although there are still things that i dont know how to do. i wonder when will i ever have the interest to study computing. anyway, i also dont know what i should study for computing. -sianz-
was in a pretty 'sian' mood today.. dont really know why also... especially when things cropped up during my in-queue ushering, ok.. plus the fact that i didnt see him today. i think it's the first time that i actually showed that i was a bit irritated. hey.. though i can be quite temperamental at times and super fierce, but it's completely when i'm working. you'll be surprise how tolerant i can be. but today, i simply stared at the guide and asked him in a tone that shows that i'm completely annoyed and irritated at him. he has a group of 76 and he wanted them to be in a tram together. we tried to arrange it for him at the expense of some of the guests that sort of got mixed up in the group, so when we were trying very hard to explain to the others, he simply allowed 4 of the guests into the queue, assuming that i have space for them when i already told him that the first tram is FULL. refusing to clear up the misunderstanding with the guests due to his stupidity, i simply stared at him in front of the couple and asked him... "why did you let them in? i have absolutely no space for them in the first tram. so now, what am i going to do with them?" he could only mustered some apology and ushered the guests back into the queue.. and earned a scolding from the lady. serves him right! created so much trouble for me and bec the minute he stepped in. plus the fact that he almost got bec into trouble cos this other guest complained that they got shoved off the queue and jon thought it was bec who did it. argh!
only eunice and i stayed until 10 today... bec has something on at home, so she has to leave at 9. anyway, i am happy to work with eunice. thought she seems very serious, but she's actually very nice and friendly. i was curious about her family cos she told me a little bit about herself the other time we partnered and work together. she was quite surprise that i can actually remember in details what she told me the other time. think she's really capable... the only person supporting her family, their bungalow and her car. haha... but you can also see that she looks really tired. she doesnt even seem her age lor... she looks so much younger, like some undergrad =)
think among all the night sups, i get along best with jon. he's like forever disturbing me lahz.. and i almost wanted to kill him for something he had said.. forever teasing me about some nonsensical thing.
haiz.. i think izzy is right ah.. there's something wrong between me and the other race ah... shucks! i kept bumping into them! haiz.. today i saw the other guy, aiyoz.. he was super nice and charming.. not to forget damn helpful too =) haiz... havent seen vig since dont know when.. well, he's one crappy guy! haha... enjoyed working with him.. cos he made the dullest of all jobs seem so interesting.. how kns! =P
the extremes of the colours... aiyoz...
what crap!
Thursday, October 07, 2004
listening to: true love by tanya chua =)
just sent this song to weilin =) heh! think she also like it lor... it's s catchy!! =)
hm.. feel so tired today.. almost cannot make it to safari. woke up damn early today. i was supposed to meet izzy at 6, but that girl cant wake up, so in the end, we only met up at around 8 and made our way down to nus. reached there about 15 mins later and i started doing my statz. believe it or not, i actually spent about 6 solid hours there studying statz and accounting. haha... it's a great start i think =P
saw kiam, jun and fen in the central lib =) heh! saw yan after izzy and i had our brunch =) he looked so poor thing... haiz... but anyway, sometimes, i think he deserved it also lahz.. guys will always be guys =P but well, just glad that things are fine between them now =) *pats pats* hm.. got to know some of izzy's friends... and i met up with the freneyz too!!!! saw BUSTY KWOK!!! haha.. it's so hard to get her nowadays... we dont even meet up regularly lor.. miss that woman so much.. as usual, she provides much entertainment. teased hani about this very special day... think she'll be in a good mood for at least a few weeks =)
hm... lala.. this is the first time that i felt quite dead when i reached safari. i was too worn out, maybe it's cos i woke up so early this morning and i slept at around 4 yesterday morning. haiz.. couldnt quite crack a joke or joined in the lameness around me. haiz.. i did ME today again. 3 days in a row, yey! i love it! haha... anyway, saw him today again... and he kept saying hi to me.. lala... sooooo happy.. haha.. i think both of us are a bit weird.. haha.. everytime he wanna walked past him, before he even said excuse me or something, i would already have noticed him approaching out of the corner of my eye, so i'll just stepped back and let him passed.. he'll in turn, give me this very mysterious smile.. muahah... argh! if there's anything about guys i totally cant resist, it's the eyes and smiles =X he has at least one of that, if not, both =) argh!! whatever... shall stop daydreaming about him..
i need to stop reaching for the kite..
i need to let the wind take it to wherever it chose..
there's nothing to change in the past..
there's nothing to regret..
whatever i've given up..
it's because my heart tells me that it's worth it
True Love by Tanya Chua
选择明天可能的爱
那一夜 他沉默 从低潮关系逃开
一直到今天他还始终不明白
这样的决定到底该不该
还记得那夜的悲哀
忍住泪 关上门 你故做坚强离开
然后安慰自己缘分自有安排
纵然心中充满了脆弱无奈
每个人都期待下次遇到真爱
才放弃的比珍惜还快
每个人都期待早点找到真爱
只可惜我们都 一直到
有一天彼此怀念时才明白
我想我们不例外 在茫茫人海中寻找着合身的爱
好像童话里那拣贝壳的小孩
到最后才了解已错过了真爱
我们各自在生活里徘徊
只是夜深人静里会醒来
每当看着两人的合照时
心中还是有很多感慨
是不是我们下一次会遇到真爱
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
sweet memories... =)
this is the 3rd year since i left css... well, today is our 3rd Grad Day Anniversary... haha.. dont know why, but felt pretty excited. haha.. yien messaged me early in the morning before i even woke up.. well, he didnt remind me, he was just earlier then me. haha... cant still remember a year ago, yien and i were in xuan's house trying to study geog, preparing for 'A's when i reminded them that it was our grad day anniversary. haha... then we started sms-ing the rest of our friends.
there were lots of things going on in my mind yesterday. trying to come up with a better way to plan my schedule and my time; trying to strive a balance between school, work and play. suddenly, the determination to succeed struck me even harder. i've taken on so much responsibilities that for some time, i felt that i cannot control my life at all. now that i'm more comfortable with so many things going on, i want to get a hold on my life.
for the many times that i dragged my feet to go for tuition, i was actually quite glad to give tuition today. i didnt even felt sleepy.. heh! which was really very rare. felt my patience stretching, and yet, i didnt give in to the temptation to just shout at him. i love working in safari, because of the people there, the pure enjoyment and satisfaction that i get when i worked. my colleagues are really nice... plus they should be term as friends rather then colleagues. cos 'colleagues' sounds so unfamiliar, so formal.
i want to set some time aside to join back the badminton game.. but more often then not, the safari roster just doesnt allow me to. i cant possibly keep swapping duties with the others cos i know that it's not fair for the others too... a lot of them also dont want to work on saturdays, but if all of us dont work, then who will? well, for the coming week, hani is joining the ground crew, this is like an extra bonus to go to work.. =)
saw him the minute i walked in to punch my card. was really surprise when i saw him. i think the surprise was written all over my face... plus i said a.. "oh.." to make things less awkward since there were only two of us.. i said hi and tried to make a small talk. lalal.. =) heh! hm.. anyway, i like the way he pronounced my name.. dont know leyz.. not a lot of people can pronounced my christian name the way i like it.. plus usually people call me belle then clarabelle. hmmmz... he asked me why did i said 'oh'.. so i just said that i was surprised, that's all.. and after pausing a while.. i continue by saying that.. "it's not a pleasant surprise though.." i think he got a shock that i said that.. and he just stared at me in surprise with a smile on his face.. those that seems to be telling you.. "hm.. why did you say that?" bleahz! =P kept seeing him today... not a bad thing though =) i dont mind seeing some cutie the whole time that i was working.. =X
hm... ok... i need to finish up my computing assignment. whenever i think of the amount of pages that i need to print.. coloured ones too.. i feel like fainting!! oh gosh! waste my ink leyz!! well... it's almost done except for the screen dumps and the report... yey! =) a sense of accomplishment in a way =P
ok... meeting izzy later... haiz... i wonder what's got into me.. maybe i'm being a bit desperate le.. actually agree to go on the small 'adventure'. diaoz... then after that, we're going to nus to study... well, since i'm free anyway and i really feel like meeting the freneyz for lunch.. so yupz.. shall make a trip there =) hm.. then maybe can meet some other friends too =) yey!
夜深了，又开始想些无关紧要的东西。
曾经问过自己，
到底在想些什么，
我也不是很清楚。
那份感觉好强烈，
怎样都压抑不了。
好想逃跑。。
逃离这永远都是这样残酷的世界。
现实，这是我活在的时代。
我不要，梦好像甜一些，
我想留在梦里。
思念，每天都在想念。
微笑，常挂在嘴边。
listening to: ai shang to bu zhi shi wo de cuo by winnie xin
i have to make this fast, cos i need to get back to my statz. i wanna finish the stack of worksheet that should have been done ages ago. there are still certain questions that i'm not particularly sure, but at least i'm able to clear most of the questions now. i think today's lecture did help a bit =)
went to meet pris with sok after class. well, that is like after we had an hour of bridge =X haha.. i think all of us are so addicted to bridge. we used to barely have enough people to play bridge.. now, we can actually start a league =P haha... it was really fun.. remember the other day when queen crow asked me if i mind the group expanding.. i think it was so diaoz lor.. why would i mind? hm.. afterall, they are so funny... not to forget that queen crow has become the latest victim for my abuse. cos i think she's even lamer then kelv... cannot take it manz! -_- but she's nice.. dont know why.. but i feel comfortable hanging out with her.. haha.. how diaoz rite?
anyway, went to this korean girl's house with izzy just now. cos i need to have this trial tuition with her to see if she can understand my teaching.. izzy's teaching her english, and i'm teaching her maths. yey! another source of income. her name is ji hae =) she's really pretty =) haha.. and she's so cute too =) think we can have lots of fun with her... dont know leyz... she seems more like a friend then a student. somehow, i can foresee the 3 of us going shopping together or something... dont know.. haha..
hm... another update of izzy's life... make me feel like slapping the girl that she was telling me about.. how i wish i was there too.. i could have put her in her RIGHTFUL place... and that is not to mess with US! hm.. well, see how wednesday goes ba... shall go to nus with izzy, then go and mug in their central library as well as look for some scores =) hehe! well, i think this is more of the reason why i'm going there =) oh.... of cos lahz... to enjoy izzy's company =X *roll eyes*
hm... i dont skip PE for no reason lor... and i cant believe that i actually agree to it... let's just hope that i'll be able to wake up for it ya... !! =P
i love seeing you in my dreams..
cos you are so perfect in there..
making you the way i want you to be.
but i love seeing you in reality too...
cos..
well, i dont need a reason to love you..
and i definitely dont need a reason to want to see you =)
Monday, October 04, 2004
listening to: wo ye hui ai shang bie ren de by winnie xin
trying really hard to do my statz now. have to complete 2 papers before going for tomorrow's lecture.. just not really in the mood of doing it, but i know that i have to finish them. for once, i really hate all these mcq questions... hate all those theories stuffs. it's just making me so confused =(
slept for about 45 minutes just now... cos i simply couldnt concentrate, so i know that i need to get some rest before going back to work. well, now i'm like wide awake... think i can last the whole night... maybe it's not a bad idea.. =)
has been listening to tanya chua's true love recently.. just like the tune very much, it's so catchy! haha.. it has been on repeat mode in my discman for almost a week =) yey! it's just so great! hm.. the lyrics are quite good too =)
yawnz... hm.. was actually comtemplating about the tuition job that izzy recommend.. but after thinking for a while, i think i do need the good money that it provides.. so in the end, i still agree. just hope that i'll be able to pass the 'trial' tomorrow.. haha.. anyway, it shouldnt be a problem since it's maths.. haha... hope that the time table is good, then i'll be able to save some transport money =X heh! if everything goes well, i might just be able to buy that digital cam that i've been eyeing for damn bloody long... =(
was almost late for work today... actually thought i was late, cos i always thought that the punch-in time is 18:30, only to know that it's actually 18:44. hm.. well, lucky for me =) saw him when i walked past.. haiz.. didnt really look at him.. just pretended that i never see him. haha.. but i was just smiling to myself the whole way... kns.. felt like an idiot -.- anyway, kor called me while he was on duty.. how bai chi -.- made me so confused cos' it's so unusual for him to speak in english... just feel like knocking him on the head... hmrpf! =P haha.. anyway, it's so nice of him lahz... never see him for quite some time le.. but he's still so nice, call me often to see how i am =)
hm.. everytime i tell people that i'm working... giving tuition and working in night safari as ground crew, they will ask me if i'm tight on money. diaoz.. must it really be this case? whenever my kors or brothers asked me what i'm doing lately and i tell them these, they'll go.. "wah.. you so tight on cash meh? need money just ask from me hor... dont work too hard..." hm.. feel as though i've atms everywhere but i'll never actually activate them =( haiz... i dont even think i need to return the money to them if i asked from them, but still... it's not a good thing.. better clear my debt with sok first... and then buy my s.h.e's tic! heh! =)
i wanna love you with my heart..
but i cant help but feel that regrets come along with loving you..
i feel like a fool around you,
and yet i love to be around you...
it's a feeling that no one else can give..
nahz... i'm just being stupid..
for if nothing is impossible..
this is nothing.
Sunday, October 03, 2004
listening to: hu die by joi cai =)
i downloaded all her songs. think she's got a great voice, crystal clear. but somehow, she's just not able to make it big like the rest... there's something that she lacks. she just seems too ordinary. hmm...
yirang just went home. haha.. she came over for lunch, just like any other sunday =) haha.. it's the only day that i can actually rest and slack at home.. i feel that time has passed like a breeze to me. i'm so busy that i dont even keep track of my time much lately.. =( haiz.. i'm supposed to buy a card for dearie lina and sent it over to her... but i kept forgetting about it. oh dear... that's not good! =(
yesterday was the first day that i went out in 3 weeks!! went out as in go out and enjoy myself.. go shopping and relax or something.. i think i'm so deprived of life suddenly... anyway, izzy is asking me if i wanna take her tuition kid for maths... well... i'm seriously reconsidering... afterall, it's good money.. and if he's able to have tuition in the afternoon, it's even better... then i can just go to work after that.. afterall, it's in cck =)
ok... back to yesterday... i went out with min yesterday. we went shopping and the two of us were like 2 mad women rushing from one place to another. no thanx to gan. was afraid that we'll be late meeting them.. so since yanjie said 15 minutes later at far east.. min and i practically ran from taka to far east to meet them.. only to have gan called back at the last minute to change the place to clarke quay. kns!! hm... so we decided to go back and buy the top that we love so much before going off to meet them. =P hm.. feel a bit guilty for spending money... but, i think i deserve it. i've been working my butt off lor... it's the only day in 3 weeks that i went out, so why not just enjoy myself? hm...
after that, we went to gan's house and played bridge.. as well as this fortune telling game =) haha... actually i think the cards were quite accurate except for one part.. but it's ok. most of the times, it's telling me the same thing.. but well, it's just a prediction or something.. not reality = meh said that whoever is the guy that i like is very fortunate, cos' i'm willing to do anything for him.. haha... is it? i also dont know leyz.. sometimes, i feel so... but sometimes, i'm also uncertain. -bahz- dont care also.. haha...
haiz.. why didnt hani went to meet juice? haiz......... wanted to know some things.. but guess, i'll have to wait again!!! =(
ok... got to catch a short nap.. then study a bit before going to work =)
Saturday, October 02, 2004
listening to: true love by Tanya chua
didnt see him today... not that i really mind or something.. cos i feel so awkward around him nowdays... -.-
haha.. had this sense of satisfaction today.. yey! it was so super crowded, uncle jusri was supposed to be helping me with ushering.. but cos the in-queue was so crowded that kavitha couldnt handle it alone... so uncle jusri went in to help her and left me to handle the big crowd. almost fainted, was doing the whole ushering thing monotonously, cos there was simply no time to do other things at all... the crowd was too overwhelming.. haha.. luckily, naren was there, so he helped me with it... at first, when he stood there, thought he was going to scold me or something.. then after the crowd sort of dispersed for the show, he praised me for handling the situation well, alone. heh! yey! =)
haha... actually, naren give me a feeling that he's not as fierce as he seems... but still, i cant help being afraid of him cos' of his intimidating height and the stern look that is always on his face. heh! but well, i think he knows that i'm afraid of him lahz... cos i seem to be the only one who doesnt talk to him.. haha.. so he took the initiative to talk to me.. =) nice boss that i have =)
well, saw paul in SIM today... the first time ever since we started training together... haha.. how funny lor... right after my computing class. haha.. and when i called him, ah pau thought i was calling for him... haha.. the confusion. =P anyway, i wont call ah pau paul one lor... he's been ah pau for too long to change it back to paul. anyway, i'm so used to it sometimes that i'll also call the other paul, pau. haha.. and he looked at me with question marks the other time i did that =X haha... lala..
disappointed.
but well, it's not the first time... suan le..
there's always a next time...
i want to be myself..
being the one that i can recognise..
i want to know what's going on..
to know that you are well...
i want to know what it's like to live without care of this world..
so that no one and nothing can tie me down..
i want to know you..
to know the "you" that is inside..
and not the "you" that you want us to see..
i want so many things in life..
that it seems to have made life impossble to live without them.
Friday, October 01, 2004
*yawnz* i'm really tired now.. very tired in fact. it's hard not to get tired when you need to stand at the bus-stop for 3 and a half hours.. it's so boring.. haiz.. how i wish i can do carpark instead.. at least, has daya to accompany me. think i'm going to miss daya's company sorely, she's going on a one month break cos of her exams =( haiz... well, good luck to her then =)
i spent $2.20 on a stupid chocolate cookie cornetto. well, i deserve the treat lor.. i was feeling so sianz and it's so unbearable till i was really counting down by the minutes. luckily sunday racheal got nana to change her ME for my CP, if not, i can just die lorz.. =) haha.. well, i like racheal, aunty jenny and uncle eng kiat.. haha.. they are all so nice to me.. always ask if i want to change duty, then trying to make things easier for me =) haha... dont know leyz.. but most of the senior senior colleagues all very nice to me one... maybe becos we are the minority race in the safari =(
anyway... if hani is reading this... *slap slap* this is for her.. cos i think she deserves it totally, and she knows it too =P kaoz... why ask me what to do when you still decided to stick to what you wanted to do.. kns!! haha.. and i thought what big problem was that... !!! -.-
hm.. saw him twice today.. was quite surprised.. cos i thought that coast was clear.. haiz.. when he said hello to me with my name, it sounds so... er... awkward? luckily, it's the night.. if not, i'm sure he can see me blush O_0 hehe... when he walked past me a second time, i didnt know what to do, so just smiled at him lor.. haha... lalalala.. =P
sianz... saw so many japanese these 2 days... for the first time, i have to say this... they can be an irritating bunch especially with all the students. i'm pretty sure that i saw at least 250 of them for these 2 days. diaoz... they are so noisy... the amount of noise that they produced when they were waiting for the tram was deafening... i couldnt even direct the others without raising to my voice, till i was almost at the brink of shouting.. hmmmz...
so no jay chou concert it fine with me... but i wanna go for the S.H.E. one!!!! anyone interested?!?! haiz... this one, i'm not going to miss it lor!! i wanna go! gonna buy the tic once i receive my pay!! -.-
